Selfish, Already Honored!

The ego has a very bad reputation and egoism even worse. Someone selfish is someone who does not take others into account, only himself. But that’s not entirely true. Because there is a way of being selfish while taking others into account and that, in addition, can be a great source of personal growth.

First you

Let’s get on a plane. Surely the vast majority of us have noticed the safety rules placed on the bag in front of our seat. They explain to us that, in case of depressurization of the cabin, the oxygen masks will pop out and, if things get worse, we will even have to put on our life jackets.

All of these rules insist that we must first make ourselves safe. Then, and only then, can we help. The rule is clear: our safety comes first, then that of others.

Selfishness? Yes, selfishness that tries to improve things starting from oneself and thus have a positive impact on others.

Why does selfishness bother us so much?

The problem is that from a young age we are taught otherwise. First them, then me. And so, selfishness is very frowned upon, even in its dictionary definition: “Excessive self-esteem.”

Can a valuation be excessive? For whom? Sure, always for the other. It is like the famous phrase by Jean Cocteau: “An egotist is one who insists on talking to you about himself when you are dying to talk to him about yourself.”

We must change our vision of selfishness, understand that we need to be more selfish, which means to be aware of ourselves. And serve us well. Take care of us, listen to us, understand us and see that the world begins with us.

Can selfishness be positive for others?

If we do not understand each other, we take care of each other, we respect each other and we take care of each other, it will be impossible to do anything positive for anyone.

We have said that the world begins in us, but that world continues in others. That is the big difference. We must start from ourselves and go to others.

As in the example of the plane with which we started. There are more and more voices that are raised in favor of selfishness. Even from the field of science, where the important role that selfishness plays in relationships is being addressed.

Such as the research of Professor Casey Totenhagen, from the University of Alabama (USA), who published a study in the Daily Mail on the benefits of selfishness in the happiness of the couple.

Selfishness plays a fundamental role in the couple, since it makes us not give up our passions or hobbies … or ourselves. And so, frustration, reproaches and distances do not arise.

Being selfish, the key to happiness

But beyond couples, selfishness also plays a role in feeling greater happiness, since it helps us to:

• Have a high self-esteem, because we know each other. Because we are aware of who we are and also who we want to become.
• Knowing how to say no, which means putting limits on others ; since one’s own conscience determines that line in which it is not no.
• Knowing how to say yes, that is, expressing what we want, saying it, making ourselves understood. No silences or riddles. Simply because we care and think it is important.

• Have more self-confidence, and dare to leave our comfort zone and take risks and new challenges. And that helps us improve self-esteem even more.
• Give security to the group. Because a confident person gives security, that truism is so obvious that we tend to ignore it.
• Treat others better. And surely this is the best and most important virtue of selfishness, because a true selfish person knows that there is no better thing to be well than to be well and at peace with others.

Yes, let’s practice selfishness. Let’s put ourselves first. Let’s do our best to be okay. And so, like on the plane, we can help and then serve others.