How To Bring Christmas Back To Meaning

We enter a magical space. Fantasy and imagination shed a special light on these days. Children are the great protagonists. They need to feel cared for, loved. But without neglecting the older ones. It is a good time to set goals and improve our lives.

Every December we share a ritual to remember a simple and extraordinary experience: the story of a mother who went through her birth in the middle of nature among her goats, her donkeys and her oxen, supported by a man named José.

According to some texts, Joseph left in search of the midwife, but when she arrived, Jesus had already been born. The woman, when looking at the scene, exclaimed: “That child who has just been born and takes his mother’s breast will become a man who will judge according to Love and not according to Law.”

This precious creature was received in a sacred atmosphere, with the warmth of the stable and under the ecstasy of the loving gaze of his mother. Two thousand years later we are still celebrating the birth of a child in good condition and reverence the miracle of life.

I also want to refer to another passage: the disciples rebuked those who brought the children so that Jesus would touch them. He called for them and said: “Let the children come to me and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like them.” Two thousand years later we continue to celebrate … but we need to remember that children – be they newborn babies or slightly older children – are priority.

Therefore, when approaching these parties – feverish by consumption, exhausted by the overdose of social gatherings and dismembered by the interests and demands of ascendant families – it will be necessary for us to always make decisions in favor of children. Beyond the religious connotation that these dates may have for each of us, without realizing it, the festivities became areas of disagreement.

The couples argue to decide with which of the two families we keep the commitments or what is the right thing to buy so that no one is offended. Gifts, food, drink, more gifts and children dragged away late at night to participate in celebrations in which – contrary to our intentions – they are relegated. What can we do?

How to put kids first this holiday season

First, to reflect with common sense and, above all, to make decisions that favor the biorhythm and the interests of the creatures. We can use our own childhood as a reference, when consumption had not yet flooded illusions and fantasy.

Perhaps we will recover in our memory those letters that we wrote to the Magi asking them for a wooden horse or a princess dress. Back then Christmas was shining like a fairy tale. It was time to fulfill a dream and the joy was immense when finally receiving a gift. One. Unforgettable.

Today magic seems to have more to do with the Internet than with discovering Santa Claus or the Kings. The spells last just a few seconds overwhelmed by the publicity. There are gifts for children, for the elderly, for neighbors, nephews, grandchildren, daughters-in-law and sons-in-law. We use credit cards to the brim for toys, clothes, shoes, electronics, or vacations.

In this context, when our children are older, they may not remember anything special about Christmas Eve. Today they have become lavish dinners to which we arrive exhausted, after touring shopping centers, in debt and disgust. It is possible that something in all this maelstrom leaves us with a sense of nonsense when it is supposed to be a time of meditation, recollection and meeting with loved ones.

Unless we do something different. Perhaps this Christmas is the perfect occasion to make small movements that satisfy us more and fill that special night with meaning. Perhaps we can install some intimacy, meet with a few people very close to us and give each one a letter full of thanks.

And for the children we can prepare something out of the ordinary, something dreamed, expected, imagined and, if possible, not very expensive. Young children have the right to receive words that name how proud their parents are of them or a beautiful letter written by Santa Claus congratulating them on their virtues, signed in gold.

We adults are capable of giving children a magical Christmas, full of surprises and charm. It is only one night a year. All the rest of us are tired, fed up with our routines. There is no expensive toy that can transform that everyday annoyance.

On the other hand, a night without stress, among those of us who really want to see and hug each other, accompanied by good music, calm and whispers, few gifts but very heartfelt, a prayer or a wish said in simple words, becomes an insurmountable gift.

If we can’t change family customs …

If we do not know how to change family customs, but we want a quiet and intimate Christmas, perhaps we can make very small changes.

• If we dare, we can offer loving poetry to our guests.
• Or prepare the favorite food for some.
• Or the cake that others enjoy the most.
• We can decorate a basket with nuts, sweets and chocolates.
• Share a folder with pictures that parents made when we were children.
• Someone can give a short piano concert or a piece with the flute.
• Others may offer to sing a song or teach it to young and old, and then sing it to canon all together.
• We can take out the family albums and look at old photos for hours, remembering how young we all were and the children discovering their grandparents with hair, their parents being ridiculously children and boyfriends and girlfriends who were forgotten.
• There are households in which you may dare to participate in a dance around the table.
• In others, it will be fun to give diners two minutes to make a wish out loud, so that we are all engaged and it comes true.
• We can pretend that the children are the ones who serve the dishes and tell us for once that we have to sit down at the table and eat in silence.
• And something definitely exciting: we can propose to have a few minutes of silence, so that each guest may pray or meditate in their own way.
• We can share a secret, a sadness or a concern and be grateful for listening.
• We can hold all children in our arms, awake or asleep, but close to our hearts.
• We can eat when the children are hungry and open the gifts when they are awake, with no other mandates other than those that govern their spontaneity.
• We can tell them something about the birth of each one of them and the way we remember having received them, tell anecdotes about when they were babies.
• We could eat frugally rather than go through large feasts, because thoughtfulness and generosity require light souls and bodies.

In short, any loving gesture full of hope and respect that reminds us why we are together is perfect for a true shared holiday and for children to have a prominent place, even if they are not their own, but nephews, children or grandchildren of friends or neighbors.

The presence of a child in the home during Christmas gives us back the sense and moral anchor that we are losing without realizing it as excessive consumption and distancing from our essential being advances.

What if we are the guests?

And what can we do if we are invited to someone else’s house or if there are relatives who are not willing to modify the routines already tried and repeated? No problem. But there is something we can do: check if the way we have celebrated historically now fits with our reality.

For example, let’s assess whether it is worthwhile with very young babies to be away from home until the wee hours of the morning, or whether it is healthy to subject them to inappropriate noise and music. Let’s see if our children are comfortable with relatives who see only once a year. Let’s record whether we are dragging our spouses onto circuits where they are unwelcome or uncomfortable.

Let us examine if our desire is aligned, or if we follow obsolete mandates, such as attending the home of such a branch of the family for a century because it has always been that way and no one has ever questioned it. In any case, we can observe ourselves with new eyes, look at our partner and, above all, look at our children and evaluate if we have organized the end of the year celebrations according to our family reality.

Let us honestly record where, how, with whom, at what times and under what conditions children can enjoy the celebrations, if they need to celebrate anything. Let us dialogue between adults and decide whatever it is, freely, taking into account the comfort and well-being of children because they have the priority.

Probably, with some creativity and good will, we will invent different possible options, neither so unattainable nor so perfect, that allow us to go through the holidays aligned with our family moment, respecting the care of our children, nephews or young grandchildren.

Then we will turn those dreamed children’s Christmases into palpable and updated realities, paying tribute to each new baby cared for and loved. These respected children will grow into a generation of men and women who will bring wisdom and inner peace to all human beings.

Christmas with friends, the family you choose

Let us decide in full exercise of our freedom. Although the most ingrained custom is to spend the holidays with the family, perhaps we want to celebrate it with friends.

Often with rising families things are crystallized in a certain way and we feel trapped. But we can appeal to our more mature side and make autonomous decisions.

Sometimes we come to dinner on Christmas Eve totally exhausted. We have complied with the organization of the meals, we have bought all the gifts, we have put the house in order, the decorations are in their place … It is simply us – the adults – who have forgotten ourselves. If that happens, let’s try to get back on our axis.

Children need their biorhythms to be respected. As long as sleep, hunger, fatigue or rest time are taken into account, children will be able to enjoy themselves on any occasion, as long as they are well accompanied. Then it will be necessary to check if the stimuli during the parties are not exaggerated for the age of each child: no frights, no screams, not too many unfamiliar faces in a whirlwind of noise.

Children will be able to enjoy what happens, even if it is something totally new: an unknown place, people never seen before, different children, a diverse climate or food with new flavors, to the extent that they retain the security granted by the understanding and understanding presence. close to her parents.

Not having money this year doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Meetings between loved ones are free. Talking together about our emotional, family and economic reality to decide how we will celebrate the holidays can offer us a degree of intimacy unknown until now.

Everything that money and consumption cover up, the lack of money exposes. Few gifts and a lot of dedication can turn into the best parties we’ve had in a long time. In these cases, children will be the main beneficiaries.

Because it is not true that children expect toys. Children wait to be loved.