Psychological Consequences Of Having An Alcoholic Father

Alcoholism is a serious social problem that affects millions of people around the world. It is a disease that wreaks havoc both on the health of those who suffer from it and on the lives of those around them.

Even today, very little attention is paid to this very serious problem that causes, directly or indirectly, thousands of deaths a year. In many sectors of society, excessive alcohol consumption continues to normalize and turn a blind eye when the problem is indoors.

As is often the case, children are the ones who suffer the most from having alcoholic fathers or mothers and, unless there is a situation of extreme abuse, they are not usually given attention or offered help. However, the daily coexistence with a person who usually comes home with a drink leaves profound consequences on the personality of the little ones.

A very common fact. that psychologists collect in the first interviews with adults who attend therapy, is the consumption of alcohol by one of the parents. Despite the time that has passed (sometimes decades), the memories and the effects of this problem are still very present in their lives.

As a particular statistic, I can mention that 50% of the people who are currently working with me have suffered from alcoholism from one of their parents.

How Alcoholic Parents Affects Mental Health

In this article I want to review some of the consequences that parents’ alcoholism leaves on their children. It is not a specific case, but generalities that I have been compiling after working, in therapy, with hundreds of adults affected by this problem.

• Constant alertness

Children of alcoholics are always vigilant. They spend their childhood attentive to whether their father or mother arrive well or badly. They are also unable to lower their guard because, when the parent arrives drunk, they must activate all the alarms to avoid being mistreated.

• Afraid

Most of these children have childhoods filled with scenes of verbal or physical violence. Arguments and fights between their parents are frequent at home.

In extreme cases, they witness attacks and beatings on their mother, their siblings, or suffer them themselves. Faced with all these situations, children live in terror, with a real and constant fear that their father will attack them or, worse still, that they may kill their mother.

• Do not bother

It is common for these children to internalize a pattern of do not disturb so as not to anger and provoke the wrath of their father. They know that the best way to proceed, when your father or mother arrives drunk, is to remain silent and not do anything that might bother you.

• Avoid conflicts

Related to the previous point, they also learn to avoid getting into arguments. The best way not to provoke your parent is by not protesting and letting go of trouble. This will also be what they learn as children and what they apply in their adult life.

• Premature liability

All these mentioned circumstances cause these little ones to mature before their time. From a very young age, these people have to leave their games and adjust to survive in a world with adult problems.

What can be achieved with therapy

Working, in therapy, the weight of these terrible childhoods marked by alcoholism can be released. In summary, these are the objectives we set for ourselves:

• Get back the joy of living

No matter how tough the circumstances have been, you can always recover the illusion of living and enjoying all the good things. If worked, this traumatic past can fail to determine the present and the future.

• Stop perceiving the world as dangerous

Of course, there are problems and difficult situations in life, but you have to know how to recognize them and treat them appropriately. Problems cannot dominate all thoughts and prevent you from enjoying all that is good and positive.

• Be yourself

After years of living so aware of others in order to survive, the person works to recover himself and become the center of his life.